Perfect Match - When Your Friends Don"t Like Your Partner
How should you handle this situation? Having friends is a great thing and you should always be thankful for the good friends that you do have.
Sometimes, though, their opinions of your lifestyle choices may not always mesh with your own.
Is that a bad thing? It's not a bad thing as long as you don't allow the opinions of others to sway your decisions.
We all need some solid, good advice from time to time, but advice is just that; it's someone else's opinion on what you should do and when you get those opinions, you need to figure out how much or how little of that advice you will follow.
If your friends are very close to you and for some reason they do not like your new partner, this can negatively affect you, your partner and your relationship with your friends.
It's very important that you get to the root of the issue of their dislike but make sure that you don't have this conversation in front of your partner.
Remember, you believe that your partner is your perfect match and you don't want him or her to hear any negative comments from your friends.
You're not trying to hide anything from your partner, but rather you are trying to shield him or her from unnecessary harm.
If your partner is a good judge or character and can sense the dispositions of others, you may not be able to shield your partner from such negative comments because he or she can perceive the dislike just from meeting your friends.
So, how do you go about bringing this discussion up with your friends? You need to be very blunt and just get the question out there, but make sure that you are calm and not angry while speaking.
The last thing you want to do is to alienate your good friends.
Since you are so "in love" with your new partner, maybe your friends, as a third party, do have some valid concerns when it comes to your partner.
You need to be the judge of whether or not what they are saying has any value.
Be open-minded and ask questions and make sure that you ask why your friends have these opinions.
Be certain to ask if your friends have any facts to validate their opinions of your partner.
After you have this conversation with your friends, you need to express that you are thankful that they are looking out for you, but that you need to ask them to, from this point on, to keep their opinions to themselves, and that you are going to continue dating your partner, unless you decide otherwise.
You need to ask your friends to make a concerted effort in being nice to your partner and try to get to know him or her.
Acknowledge to your friends that you understand this may be asking a lot from them, but that you need their support right now and will keep their opinions in your mind and will be taking them into consideration.
It's not necessary to discuss any of this conversation with your partner, unless, of course, your partner has noticed any mistreatment of him or herself from your friends.
If that is the case, then assure your partner that you have spoken with your friends about this issue and that you have expressed your loyalty (to your partner) to them and that he or she has nothing to worry about and your friends are willing to be open-minded.
The situation can be difficult, but it's not impossible to overcome, as long as the communication lines are open with everyone involved.